I read today that Croyden has more CCTV cameras than *New York City*. This is on the back of a report that the police are now going to capture details of all motorcyclist reg plates on certain routes so they can build up a profile of addresses on where to target their road safety adverts. Seriously disturbing when you consider these bastards lose records all over the place. I ride a motorbike so expect my address to be left in the back of a cab anytime soon. But the problem is that it’s not really possible to blame someone because it’s never entirely clear who exactly is responsible. There’s a sort of fog of bureaucracy that exists around us. I just imagine some dark wood panelled room in Whitehall where some safety czar is saying ‘do you know what we should do whilst public spending is at record levels, lets spend more money on getting a load of people’s addresses – motorcyclists are good because they’re one of the few people left who actually have fun.’
So I sigh to myself and think, that’s screwed but impending financial collapse of the developed world is more worrying so i’ll concentrate on that instead. And then lo and behold I take a Sunday jaunt up the Fosse Way and hey presto some sinister little grey box gets my address for doing 55mph.
But recently I’ve been fighting back in my own little way and I hope you will join me. It involves the use of a Tesco clubcard.
Tesco’s like you to use a club card and for that they give you money off – and you say ‘great, i’ll do that’. But what they’re really after is *data*. They want to know everything about you because it means as they get more sophisticated they can market very specifically at you. So by using a very technical set of algorithms they can work out that if you buy Hula Hoops and organic carrots and nappies and pink milk you are also likely to buy Frosties. So they send you a Frosties offer and because they have profiled you they know that’s what you want. Pretty sinister don’t you think?
Well what you need to do is use your clubcard selectively. You know those odd in between shops you do when you’ve run out of stuff but it’s not officially shopping day. Well use your club card for those shops and see who they profile you. So for example today i purchased the following
– 24 loo rolls
– cat wormer
– pack of extra strong mints
– fire lighters
– bin bags
Come on Tesco – try and profile me off the back of that lot you big brother data collecting bastards!! I suppose the only plus with Tesco is that they are a highly efficient operation and so are unlikely to leave your manipulated data on the back seat of a taxi.