Tax dodging MP condemns tax dodging celebs

Danny Alexander

Following the Jimmy Carr hoo ha last week treasury minister Danny Alexander took to our screens to lay into tax avoiders labelling them as “morally repugnant”. Lest there is any confusion this is the same Danny Alexander who cheated the Treasury out of a very significant wedge by “flipping” his house during the expenses scandal. The minister registered a London property as his second home in 2005 but declared it his main residence to the taxman. He then claimed over £37,000 of taxpayers’ money doing up property over the following two years. In 2007 he flogged it for £300,000, using a tax loophole to avoid paying the then 40% capital gains tax.

What’s baffling, beyond the obvious hypocrisy, is the contempt for peoples intelligence. Mate, you’re in the public eye. Your tax loop hole jiggery pokery is there spread all over The Google for people to see, like here. I’m almost in admiration of the sheer front involved in pointing to someone’s tax foibles whilst having your own T Rex sized tax skeleton so plainly on view.

Can I suggest that all politicians now stop talking about tax dodging unless you are prepared to seize the current tax regime and do something radical with it, like introduce a fair and transparent flat tax instead of using taxation to bribe various sections of the electorate when it suits you.  There are very few people out there who can open up their accounting affairs and not find some sort of fiddle, a meal here, a taxi receipt there, or a flipped central London flat with home improvements funded by Joe Public, so probably best leave it alone or grow some balls and make the changes that clearly need to be made.  If you show courage the electorate will reward you, why don’t our pygmy political elite get this?

Jonny Boden – The Truth

Every month or so ‘Jonny’ sends me his brochure.  It’s beautiful.  Nicely designed, good quality paper.  Must have cost a few bob to print and post – thanks Jonny for taking the time to send me it.  Then you start flicking through it whilst you’re waiting for the kettle to boil.  Hmm you say, that cotton onyx blue sweater looks really good on that rugged rugby playing 22 year old male model.  I bet if I buy that that onyx blue sweater i’ll look as good as him and I can live a life of middle class lovelyness full of sunshine, probably near a beach, but without annoying things like negative equity and overdrafts and I could marry a pert blonde lady who could also wear Boden stuff.  I want that life you say, and the sweater is the gateway to that life.

So you go online and you buy the onyx sweater for £63 and you wait.  It arrives.  You tear off the paper and the beautiful packaging comforted by the fact that you are now in Jonnys Gang.  You are part of the lifestyle of lovely lovelyness.Your ticket to ride the train to Lovelyville.

And you put it on.

And your tummy sticks out and it’s a bit tight around the shoulders and in the mirror you look like a different species when compared to the dashing rugged rugger player.  And it’s cost you £63!  For a bloody jumper!  And you’ve got a bank statement telling you that you have no money.  But can you really be arsed to pack it all back up in the lovely wrapping which you destroyed earlier in your eagerness to wear the jumper and then schlep down to the post office in town where you can only park for 30 minutes but then be forced to *queue for an hour* whilst every biddy in the world cashes their pension.  So you put it in the drawer – you can wear it on holiday this summer when you’re lost a bit of weight and your tan will go well with the onyx.  18 months later you’ll take it to Oxfam.