Sweetshop in Stratford upon Avon (England) seeks government rescue

Rita’s Sweets in Stratford Upon Avon sensationally requested a government bail out this morning. There is now fear that other sweet shops could go to the wall in coming weeks as the economic collapse continues.

Said Rita Sherbert speaking exclusively to The Bloke “We bought 2,000 gummy snakes last month because we thought there would be a high demand for gummy snakes.  We found out on Monday that nobody wants gummy snakes at all.  Effectively we’ve ended up with a load of gum based confectionary that nobody wants.  It was a stupid mistake.  We tried to repackage them up and sell them on to another sweet shop by calling them aniseed balls but they didn’t fall for it.  We were blinded by the prospect of cornering the market in gummy snakes and making literaly hundreds of pounds for ourselves.  The trouble is we bought them on my husband, Terry’s, credit card and now we really can’t afford to pay it off.  We’re hoping that Alistair Darling won’t sit on his hands and dither this time.  He needs to act decisively and come to our rescue with a nice big dollop of tax payers cash before its too late.  If he doesn’t this could spell disaster for Stratford based confectioners.  We can’t allow us, er, i mean them, to go broke.”

Oversupply of gum based snakes spells ruin for Rita

Alistair Darling was quoted this afternoon to be taking this very seriously and is confering with the treasury about releasing £375 to avoid the systematic collapse of this sweet shop.

Rita and co-worker who face ruin if they don't get a bail out

Rita and co-workers who face hardship if they don't get a bail out

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