Popping The Panic Buying Cherry
Remember a few years ago when there was a strike outside some oil refinery which meant that petrol had to be rationed for about 5 hours and the whole of middle england went into a sort of meltdown with massive queues of motorists trying to get their tanks full just in case petrol stopped and we would, er, have to walk? Then some alarmist news stories started circulating about how supermarkets only had 4 days worth of food and people started hoarding stuff. Supermarkets were limiting people to 3 cans of Spam and a box of Turkey Twizzlers per person.
I remember watching the news thinking ‘what kind of moron goes to the supermarket and hoards stuff? If we run out of petrol I’ll dial a pizza’ I don’t know whats happened to me over the last few years but this pig flu thing has got me a bit spooked. Perhaps it’s the Survivors series. Perhaps it’s my complete lack of trust in anything the government says these days. Perhaps it’s the knowledge that we have become so reliant on imports that we only have 4 days of food available in the UK before we starve.
So today I went to Tescos and took part in what can only be described as panic buying hoarding spree.
Using emotional blackmail I persuaded Mrs Bloke to come with me and she was very helpful loading up the trolly as I prepared for armageddon. She became more emabarrassed as the contents of the trolly piled up with economy rice pudding, dolphing cruel tuna and an alarming amount of Spam [what is it about Spam and hardship?]. ‘Shall we get lots of loo roll?’ she said getting into the spirit of the exercise. I had to explain that when the four horsemen round the corner hooves flying raining death upon us that loo roll won’t be top of the agenda. We’ll use leaves. And when the Spam runs out we’ll eat the dog.
Next week I’m going to see my friend Wes who know all about shotguns.
When it happens I’m going to be ready!
