Nov 27 2008

The Pregnant Blonde

The other day my neighbor, who is blonde, came running up to me in the driveway jumping for joy! I didn’t know why she was jumping so excitedly but I thought, ‘what the heck’, and I starting jumping up and down along with her. 

She said, ‘I have some really great news!’ 

I said, ‘Great. Tell me why you’re so happy.’ 

She stopped jumping and breathing heavily from all the jumping up and down, told me that she was pregnant. I knew she’d been trying for a while so I told her, ‘That’s great I couldn’t be happier for you!’ 

Then she said, ‘There’s more’ 

I asked, What do you mean there’s more. 

She said, ‘Well, we are not having just one baby. We are going to have TWINS!’ 

Amazed at how she could know so soon after getting pregnant, I asked her how she knew. She said…. 

(You’re going to love this!) 

‘Well, that was the easy part. I went to Boots Chemist and they actually had a home pregnancy kit in a TWIN-pack. Both tests came out positive!’

 


Nov 25 2008

Barclaycard Ad

We love the latest Barclaycard advert and wish that we could get home from work on a water slide…

 

but we just had to post this take off of it!


Nov 24 2008

Random Beat Boxing - very good


Nov 23 2008

More Funny Classifieds!

FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER. 

8 years old.  Hateful little bastard.  Bites! 

 

FREE PUPPIES

1/2 Cocker Spaniel, 1/2 sneaky neighbor’s dog. 

 

FREE PUPPIES. 

Mother, AKC German Shepherd. 

Father, Super Dog . . Able to leap tall fences in a single bound. 

 

FOUND DIRTY WHITE DOG. 

Looks like a rat. Been out a while. 

Better be a big reward. 

 

COWS, CALVES: NEVER BRED. 

Also 1 gay bull for sale. 

 

JOINING NUDIST COLONY! 

Must sell washer and dryer £!00. 

 

WEDDING DRESS FOR  SALE . 

Worn once by mistake.  Call Stephanie. 

And the best one: 

FOR  SALE BY OWNER. 

Complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica, 45 volumes.  Excellent condition.  £200 or best offer.  No longer needed, Got married last month.  Wife knows everything.


Nov 22 2008

Triad Hoodlums

Jerome Castillo and his band of merry, er, psycho nutter triads was sent down this week for killing another scumbag psycho nutter gangster (you get in with a bad crowd and it always ends in tears).

whole story and pics here

The choice line from the story though:

‘he told the court he later regretted that decision [to join] and had only joined after being promised girls, parties and free chinese food’

Sorry??? only joined a murderous crime syndicate because of the chinese food!!