6 business ideas that I’ve had in the past week that will never come to anything

exfoliating-scrubactivity-neckwear sad-dog pan-spain-2010-0642 abu-hamza-coat-hooks1

1. beard oil

2. exfoliating scrub for men that doesn’t cost £8 per tube (considering it’s essentially shower gel and grit).

3. a clothing company that specialises in activity neckwear.

4. dog rental

5. a service that picks up your motorbike, takes it to Geneva, you fly out and meet the bike, fart around the Alps for a week zipping up and down curvy mountain passes waving at other bikers and grinning, after a week the bike gets shipped back, you fly home. Bing Bang Bong.  In fact I would call this business

6. a retail site specialising in Abu Hamza Coat Hooks.







El Pornógrafo Emprendedor – news from Spain at last

Getting a proper book deal (not including the vibrator one which i shall talk about at some point in the future) was one of the most exciting things that has happened to me.  Its in the top 5. Being paid for doing something you love and are good at hits one of lifes sweet spots in my opinion.Its not about the money either.  Most writers don’t write to get rich and most won’t. It’s someone putting faith in you and your creative output.  Validating you.

But there is a secondry bite at the excitement cherry when your agent sells the rights in another country. You essentially get paid again for simply agreeing to let another publisher translate and publish.  All you do is sign a bit of paper and a few months later a cheque arrives. So when I got the call that two overseas publishers were keen to buy the rights to publish The Accidental Pornographer I was thrilled.  The first was an outfit in Spain the second was, strangely, a firm in The Ukraine.  The Ukrainian one dropped out which was a shame because being read in The Ukraine is not something I had ever imagined and once I’d got thinking about it I started to have visions of doing a book tour perhaps terminating in vodka frenzy in Odessa, once the Costa Del Sol of the USSR.

But the Spanish publishers went ahead and put their money on the table and purchased the rights.

El pornógrafo emprendedor

El pornógrafo emprendedor

The publishers did their stuff.  10 copies of the book arrived and I waited for my invitation to do a book tour.  And that was that.  2 years have passed and nothing has been heard.   Nada.  And in truth I had completely forgotten about it until this morning when I was logging onto by back end bit of the site and it alerted me to the fact that someone in spain was linking to me. Asier Marques had written a rather lovely review on his blog (i had to stick it into an internets translator to understand it as i don’t speak the lingo).

I still have no idea if we’ve sold any books in Spain but the absense of royalty cheques or any contact whatsoever leads me to conclude that Snr Marques might be my only Spanish fan.  But it made my day.