OK, it’s not until March but it’s already being plugged by worthy supermarket retailers keen to show their caring credentials. Why don’t you stop screwing farmers into the floor with your aggressive buying practices? Er, because that affects your bottom line which is bad for the shareholders, far easier to humiliate your staff and then GET THE PUBLIC TO CHIP IN THE MONEY. Although there is the unintentional humour in watching the staff reluctantly sport their red noses and ‘comedy’ hats that they clearly don’t want to be wearing apart from that one annoying pathologically chirpy middle aged checkout supervisor who, newly divorced, manages to find hysterical mirth in practically everything, especially wearing a pink wig. And a red nose.
The thoughts of Lenny fricking Henry piping up for his annual fix of attention going Whaaaa Whaaaa which he has been doing since Spit The Dog before trudging back to panto land where he spends most of his year is enough to fill me with dread. And don’t even get me started on the cringeworthy news readers doing their turn for charidy. Back in 1988 this was fresh and new and exciting, using comedy to raise cash for the worlds poor. Now it’s like a runaway train that everybody wants to get off but our morals are welded to the catering car so we have to go along with the painful ride every year. We need to think up another way to make money. Something involving bankers and them giving back all the ill gotten commission they’ve been raking in for the past decade.